We’ll wrap up our look at “Alfred Hitchcock Presents” with the final three episodes of the series directed by Hitchcock himself from seasons six and seven…
Season Six begins with Audrey Meadows playing a woman trying to wrap her husband around her finger in “Mrs. Bixby and the Colonel’s Coat,” from September 27, 1960. Based on another Roald Dahl story, Meadows is the wife of a hardworking dentist, trying to make ends meet and wishing to be a part of high society in New York City.
After meeting her husband at his office, and looking completely happy with their marriage, she sets off to see her maiden aunt in Baltimore, as she does every month. On arrival, she instead visits another man – a rich colonel she’s having an affair with. He seems thrilled to see her, but then makes excuses to leave for the day. The next day, he has another errand to run, but leaves her with a box containing a mink coat – and a note breaking off the affair.
Devastated at the breakup and realizing that she can’t just show up at home with a mink, she still manages to concoct a scheme. She pawns the coat in New York for just $50. She then gives the pawn ticket to her husband, saying she found it. He offers to go see what it is, and she relaxes, expecting him to get the coat back and give it to her.
She then stops by his office to see the surprise he’s promised her – but instead of the coat, he presents her with a mink stole. She manages to accept the stole, then, looking dazed, takes a seat in his waiting room. While she sits there in a corner, the dentist’s assistant walks out for lunch – wearing the mink coat.
Meadows has fun with the role, calling everyone “darling” and sounding very much like she did in “The Honeymooners,” only with more money. Hitchcock seemed to have fun with the opening scene of this episode in particular, which featured closeups of a dental patient getting her teeth drilled.
In the hilarious episode “The Horseplayer,” first shown on March 14, 1961, Claude Rains is a Catholic priest whose church has a leaky roof. Although he is optimistic, there is no money for repairs. He also finds that he has a new parishioner: a gambler who’s been coming to church to pray for winning horses.
Rains meets the gambler, who gratefully explains how prayer works for him, and while Rains tries to explain why this is wrong, the gambler doesn’t seem to get it. He keeps offering to place bets for the priest. On his way to a meeting with the bishop, the priest runs into the gambler again. The gambler explains that he’s on his way to put all his money behind a sure thing, so he can move to Florida. He again offers to put a bet down for the priest. Thinking of that leaking roof, the priest decides to take him up on his offer. He withdraws his entire $500 of savings and gives it to the gambler.
At the bishop’s office, the priest explains what he’s just done, and how he knows that it is a sin. The bishop seems more amused than upset, but he directs the priest to pray that that the horse loses.
Later that day, the gambler shows up at the church again, looking miserable. The priest looks relieved, and the gambler confirms that the horse “quit on him,” and that he lost all his money. The priest says it’s all right, but the gambler hands him a wad of bills, explaining that he couldn’t bring himself to bet on the horse to win – so he bet on it to place, and when the horse came in second, the priest won $2,100.
The contrast between the upstanding priest and the Runyonesque gambler is very funny, and the fact that the gambler has no idea when to stop talking about the horses makes the situation even funnier. This really is more of a shaggy dog story than a thriller, which shows how broad the series was.
Alfred Hitchcock’s final half-hour episode of “Alfred Hitchcock Presents,” from season seven, ends with a bang. The story is “Bang! You’re Dead,” starring Billy Mumy. Originally broadcast on October 10, 1961, it is easily the most chilling of Hitchcock’s seventeen episodes.
Mumy plays Jackie Chester, a boy with a cowboy hat and toy pistol who’s too small to play with the other boys in his neighborhood. Feeling left out, he’s happily distracted by the arrival of his uncle, just back from a sales trip in Africa. Jackie follows his uncle and father into the house, chatting about the trip as they drop a suitcase in the guest room. Jackie is left alone while the adults leave the room, and he decides to find the surprise his uncle promised him. He opens the suitcase and finds a pistol that looks a lot like his, along with a box of ammunition. He takes the gun, puts a bullet it, plus a few more in his pocket, then wanders out of the house.
As Jackie wanders toward the grocery store, he keeps spinning the gun’s cylinder, and we see the bullet in different positions each time he spins it. He also keeps shooting various things, with no result. The tension mounts and he keeps pulling the trigger. At the grocery store, he rides a toy pony on the sidewalk, and when a girl comes along who also wants a ride, he threatens to shoot her. He then wanders around the store, idly adding bullets as he walks around.
Meanwhile, Jackie’s parents and uncle realize what has happened, and they frantically search for him. His mother reaches the grocery store but keeps getting put off by people who are busy with other customers. By the time she gets an announcement made, Jackie has left. In the parking lot, the three adults hear loud bangs – but it’s just teenagers gunning a hot rod.
Jackie arrives back home to find the maid busy with dinner. He tells her to stick ’em up, but she’s too busy to play. They go back and forth a bit – she says she’s going to have to tell his mother that he wouldn’t mind her – and he says he’s going to shoot her. She says, “Blaze away, I’ve made my peace with the Almighty,” and he pulls the trigger. Just then, the three adults burst through the door, and his uncle throws a pillow at him, causing his shoot to hit a mirror rather than the maid.
The final scene of this episode reuses Hitchcock’s trick from “Spellbound,” showing a Jackie’s hand holding the revolver, giving us his point of view as he aims at various points around the room.
Although Hitchcock makes his usual joking remarks at the top of the show, at the end he is unusually serious, using the moment to implore parents to be more careful with firearms in the home.
Next week, we’ll look at Hitchcock’s one episode from the series “The Alfred Hitchcock Hour,” as well as two of his TV rarities.
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